to stay at home, or to be a "sinner"?

by cornnut

our religion places a huge emphasis on family. one particular aspect of that is motherhood, and nurturing.

we are taught in the family: a proclamation to the world that "mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children."

so what does "nurture" mean?

according to julie beck (relief society general president), "Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a "house of order," and women should pattern their homes after the Lord's house. Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work."

she has also said that "A good nurturer carries power and influence. The Latin word nutrire, from which the English word nurture originates, means “to suckle or nourish,” or, in the full interpretation, “to feed, foster, care for, or rear.” True power is found in the hands of a worthy nurturer, especially at mealtimes."

so what is a woman's role?

according to former relief society general president belle spafford, "From the Church’s point of view, a woman’s role remains the same as it has always been. A woman should give her greatest priority to her home: her husband, her family, and the opportunity to child-bearing. That is her divine mission. All women can’t have children or aren’t privileged to be able to raise a family in this life, but I think they have great potential for growth that the Lord expects them to develop."

in the manual the latter-day saint woman: basic manual for women it teaches that "Satan seeks to break apart the home and family. One of his many devices is to challenge the role the Lord has given to women. 'Satan and his cohorts … lure women away from their primary responsibilities as wives, mothers, and homemakers.'" (N. Eldon Tanner, Conference Report 1973)

wow! that's a pretty strong statement. satan wants to lure women away from being homemakers? to where? having a job is a temptation, is a sin?

as a teenager, i didn't want children. i wanted to move to france and be a hotshot fashion designer. at the age of thirteen, i was so adamant about the fact that i would NEVER have kids, i signed a "contract" with my mom saying that for every child i gave birth to, i would owe her $100. well, here it is, and a lot of time has passed. my attitude and my desires have done a complete 180 degree turn. i am a mother. i have a beautiful baby boy. and i would love to be a stay at home mother.

i have a part-time job. i really enjoy my job. it is hard work. some days seem to drag on forever. but i find myself looking forward to going to work most of the time. i would rather stay at home. i would rather be a homemaker. wouldn't it be awesome if i were that 50s housewife, with dinner on the table right at 6pm every night? with the immaculate home?

to be honest, i don't think it would be that awesome. the reason i want to stay at home is to be with my child. but with the crappy economy (as i know you all know) that just isn't possible right now. we have made some poor decisions financially, and now we have to take responsibility for that. so i work. and my husband works, so very hard, so that i only have to work part time.

we don't have a babysitter. my husband gets home from work about 2 pm, and then i go to my job. our son is always with one of us. i believe that my husband, who is a wonderful provider, is also a nurturer. he is so wonderful with our son. i am so blessed to have a man who is such a devoted and loving father. so we share the responsibility. he works, i work. he nurtures, i nurture. as it is, he does the majority of the providing and i do the majority of the "nurturing" (if you define nurturing by homemaking). and it is a balance that works for us. we work hard together to keep our family afloat.

so what about the woman who chooses to work outside the home, when financially it isn't required? is she sinning? in my opinion, absolutely not. i have found that a few hours away from my son, in the "adult" world, helps me to rejuvenate. i get a short break, to charge my batteries and make me a better mother. some women are just better mothers for working outside of the home. i think it is more important to the Lord for us to be the best mothers we can be, rather than staying at home and being unhappy. and therefore, making our children unhappy.

in october, fMhLisa at feminist mormon housewives posted a blog about her brother-in-law and her sister. i would highly suggest reading it--but i will give you the shortened version. her sister is miserable being a housewife. and her brother-in-law, who is by nature nurturing, goes to work every day to a job he hates. what would be so bad about dad staying home, and mom being the main provider?

and here is another aspect to this. femininity. one of the women i (and april) blog with over at modern molly mormon also runs a blog based on the book fascinating womanhood by helen andelin. i admit i have never read this book. however, i have read a lot of the posts on liss' blog, the fascinating woman. recently, liss wrote a post titled "femininity v. the working woman." i suppose this is part of what has got me thinking about this topic. discussion got rather heated between commenters, especially over a particular phrase: "Does working kill femininity? Does it dampen marital love and cause harm to society? The short – generalized – answer is yes." now although i disagree with liss on this, i do see the opposing view. the issue, here, is not necessarily religion though. it is being feminine. and, as we well know, the church advocates femininity in women and masculinity in men. but what is femininity? is it really staying at home, keeping a clean house, cooking every night? is it really wearing pearls, dressing up every day, having perfect manners, ironing, and washing dishes? is the epitome of femininity the 1950s pinup?

i recognize that i have addressed a number of things in this post. and toward the end, the debate drifted a bit from the religious issue. i felt it important enough to be included, however.

i want to know what you think. i want you to really, truly look inside of yourself. what do you want? why do you want it? do you want to be a SAHM because that's what the church tells you? because that's what you believe is right? because that is what is expected of you? do you want to work outside of the home? why? do you believe that working when it isn't necessary is a sin? what does the word "nurture" mean to you? how do you juggle nurturing and providing in your marriage?

please share!

-------------------------------------------------------

while researching various gospel topics in writing this post, i came across this quote from julie beck as well:

"Faithful daughters of God desire children. In the scriptures we read of Eve (see Moses 4:26), Sarah (see Genesis 17:16), Rebekah (see Genesis 24:60), and Mary (see 1 Nephi 11:13–20), who were foreordained to be mothers before children were born to them. Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but just as Hannah of the Old Testament prayed fervently for her child (see 1 Samuel 1:11), the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection (see D&C 130:18). Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood."

this is for those of you whom i love and admire that are striving for children. i thought it was a beautiful quote and wanted to share.

Famous Mormons

by: SeattleSuz



Ever since I was a little kid, I have always been intruiged by famous people, watching Entertainment Tonight, reading People magazine, etc. But I was always happy to find out that there were famous people who were also Mormon. It was like, "He's one of US!" as if being Mormon were a different race, or a club or something.

Now, in the technology age, where you can find just about anything you want or need on the Internet, I can read about famous Mormons on www.famousmormons.net

I just think that's the coolest thing!

And yes, I know, I am a big dork!

Some of my favorites from the site:
The Jets


Donny Osmond


AJ Cook


Aaron Eckhart


Rick Schroder


Paul Walker

Oh My Heck, We Are Famous

I got an e-mail letting me know that Normal Mormons was in an article! Here it is, from BeliefNet.com.

(UNDATED) Stories about love, lust and the undead may not seem like the best vehicle for teaching teens about faith and morality. But for Stephenie Meyer, who has been called "the Mormon Anne Rice," her best-selling "Twilight" books and upcoming movie contain plenty of teachable moments.Meyer, a wife and mother of three from Phoenix, who is a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and graduate of Brigham Young University, says she has become accustomed to people asking her, "What's a nice Mormon girl like you doing writing about vampires?"But as she told one Mormon-themed Web site, "Unconsciously, I put a lot of my basic beliefs into the story.""Twilight," published in 2005, was the debut vampire novel in the series of books that has now sold nearly 10 million copies, generating the kind of frenzy among tweens and teens that rivals Harry Potter.The film version opens in theaters nationwide on Nov. 21.On the surface, "Twilight" is little more than the latest incarnation of vampire legends that have circulated in many cultures for centuries, and which have been popularized in novels like Bram Stoker's "Dracula" (1897) and Anne Rice's "Vampire Chronicles'' series (1976-2003).Yet Meyer's religious and moral values clearly shine through, even though Mormonism is never mentioned.

Heroine Bella Swan has the same insecurities and anxieties as any 17-year-old girl. But when she falls for Edward Cullen, a handsome fellow student who happens to be a vampire, she confronts the kinds of existential questions that religion addresses."The most obvious Mormon influences can be seen in the ways that Meyer has her teenage heroine stand up for marriage and, ultimately, motherhood," says Jana Riess, author of "What Would Buffy Do: The Vampire Slayer as Spiritual Guide" and co-author of "Mormonism for Dummies.""But anyone who is familiar with the Book of Mormon can also discern deeper theological themes, from the Mormon reinterpretation of the Fall of humankind -- which inspired the apple on the `Twilight' book cover -- to the theme of overcoming the natural man, which we can see when Bella wrestles with her desires and decides whether or not to become a vampire.

"The concept for the "Twilight Saga'' series of books came in a vision, says Meyer, who is 34 and had never published a word before pitching her idea to an agent who got her a $750,000, three-book deal.

She doesn't read vampire books or watch R-rated movies like "Interview with the Vampire."And the sexual tension that pervades the stories is a natural byproduct of Meyer's strict Mormon upbringing. Growing up as a good Mormon girl among other good Mormon girls and boys, she met her future husband as a child but the two did not associate outside of church activities until they began dating when she was 20. They married nine months later.Unlike many other young adult novels, there's no sex in "Twilight,"even though Meyer's editor suggested otherwise. None of the characters drink alcohol or indulge in profanity, but there is plenty of heavy breathing and sexual tension.

Meyer's treatment of sexuality is a hot topic on Mormon-themed Web sites like normalmormons.com and motleyvision.org that make up the online "bloggernacle."A writer on motleyvision.org, which explores Mormon art and culture, says Meyer's books show "how abstinence leads to a heavily charged play of small gestures among Mormon teenagers and young adults."

And in a post on normalmormons.com ("It's true. We're out there."), a relative of Meyer's writes:"Edward and Bella could barely touch or kiss for fear that Edward might get carried away and suck her blood in a fit of passion. Very similar to that of two young BYU/high school students who aren't yet married and can't touch each other for fear it will lead to sex. I'm sure it was easy for Stephenie to describe with firsthand experiences."

By STEVE RABEY c. 2008 Religion News ServiceCopyright 2008 Religion News Service. All rights reserved. No part of this transmission may be distributed or reproduced without written permission.

Pretty Sweet Huh? Here's the link.

Mormon myths

by Holly

SeattleSuz's last post (if you haven't read it...do that first...I'll wait...) got me thinking. We have lived outside of Utah for most of our marriage...and it looks like we'll be moving back into the 'real world' and as I was reading her post about preconceptions I started thinking about people's preconceptions about us. Please allow me to share some funny stories:

#1 - My hubby is in the military. He didn't like trucking his uniforms back and forth everyday so he would just leave them in his locker at work and wear 'civilian' clothes to and from work everyday. This meant changing in the locker room. One of his friends asked him one day what the marks in his underwear meant...he asked if they were nipple holes (wonder what he thinks goes on in the temple...). He also asked how we got rid of the horns. In all seriousness. He had wanted to ask it for a long time but waited until hubby had been his friend for 2 YEARS and then asked. Nathan got a good chuckle, and as one who likes to get a reaction out of people...he said he shaves them off with a specialized cheese grater.

#2 - A friend I made at my last job waited almost as long to ask me her questions. One day she came into my office, shut the door and asked if she could ask me a personal question. I thought she was going to ask if I had a spare tampon or something...but no. She asked me when Nathan would be able to take his second wife. I almost spit out the Diet Coke I was drinking. I had to stifle a laugh and tell her that he would not be taking a second wife...and that if he did he would be excommunicated...and find himself minus the first wife.

Over the years I've also been asked if I can cut my hair, if I can use electricity and if I was allowed to wear shoes to my wedding.

Ok, now its sharing time...what funny things have you been asked when people find out you're Mormon.

"That's because you're a Mormon!"

by: SeattleSuz

Have you ever heard someone utter those words?

I know I have and for pretty much most of my life. Sometimes I have been offended and sometimes I haven't. But it makes me wonder, having been raised Mormon, are we so insulated from the outside world, that certain things are just not comprehensible to us?

For example: During my dark years, I saw a lot of alcohol and drug abuse among people that I knew and was always completely shocked to find that some of them had children. I was always amazed and kind of appauled that they had kids at home and were out partying like they were single and child-free. Something in my psyche told me that when you have kids, you stop drinking and start being a family person. Partying and raising kids just did not mix to me.

Fast forward to present day. DH and I have had plenty of discussions about our choice to remain sober and how we do not want our child exposed to drunks. I have expressed to him that I don't understand how people can raise kids and drink and he always says to me "That's because you're a Mormon!" Yeah, I grew up in a household that did not have alcohol in it. He didn't. For him, it was commonplace to be around adults who were drinking. I tried to ask him if he thinks that may have affected him and he says that he doesn't really remember it being an issue. And for me, I just can't imagine seeing that as a child and dealing with that!

But then again, I don't understand why people drink as an everyday habit (addiction?). We took our little baby girl out trick or treating and saw these 4 dads taking their kids door to door and they were all drinking beer. DH was appauled! But then he mentioned it to his younger brother (semi-active Catholic) and he said, "That's cool. Hey, they were hanging with their kids, nothing wrong with having a beer while doing it" An audible *gasp* came from me, of course. While DH was raised around that, even he was amazed at the acceptance his brother had concerning alcohol and kids.

We obey the Word of Wisdom (well, except for the fact that we love our coffee and Rockstar!) and although DH doesn't know what the WoW really is, he still realizes that the principles that they are based on are because of HEALTH. So, rather than "obeying the WoW", he is "being healthy". Alcohol is poison, so are cigarettes and drugs and junk food. So is caffeine (shhhhh, don't tell him that!).

So, what do you think? Do we have preconceived attitudes against certain things "because we're Mormon"?

church attendance guilt

by cornnut

i'm feeling the guilt today.

i'm not really even sure what brought it on. i haven't been to church in months--and i haven't been regularly in years. but today, i feel guilty for not going. and i feel even more guilty because i don't really want to go.

as most kids brought up in the church are, i was taught that you don't miss church unless you are sick or on vacation. and even on vacation we made sure to recognize the sabbath. (we drove to california to see my grandparents a lot, and many times the trip took place on a sunday. we listened to church music in the car and did "sunday" activities--it is still the sabbath whether you're in sacrament meeting or the back of the van.) so now that i am an adult, and have made the choice to not attend church the vast majority of the time, it can be weird for me.

as a kid i looked forward to going to church. mostly young womens. i had amazing leaders that i loved, and that i knew loved me. i had a lot of friends that i wanted to see, and talk to, and spend time with. i was involved in our lessons. i loved the things we learned about. but then i graduated high school, and graduated young womens along with it. i moved on to relief society. i attended in my home ward, with my mom. i went to a few different singles wards. i moved to byu and attended student wards. but it was never the same. and i really struggled with that. i'm sure i had leaders in my student wards that cared about me. but suddenly, no one else really did. i didn't have that one leader that i could talk to about anything. i didn't have a young womens president that would ask me how i was doing--and really care about what i said. i no longer had a bishop that knew what was going on in my life, and try to understand, and try to help me. i was on my own. then i met my husband, and starting going to his family ward. we got married. and continued going to family wards. (he never liked singles wards.) but they were all the same. since turning 18, i have been in 11 wards in three different states. and in almost every one of them, i didn't attend regularly. and no one seemed to notice. no one seemed to care. i have had one relief society president in the last 5 years that knew who i was and noticed when i actually did show up.

combined with my frustration in being ignored, as well as struggling testimony, illness, and some other things, i have stopped going to my church meetings. and i usually feel nothing. i usually don't miss it that much. i don't miss the judgmental nature of those around me. i don't miss sitting for three hours. i don't miss hurtful comments. i don't miss teachers that don't know what they're talking about, that preach false doctrine. and, because i don't attend, i have (in my opinion) been lucky to miss the letters about prop 8 being read over the pulpit.

so why is it that i am feeling guilty today? why is it that i am suddenly aware of my sins? why is it that i feel so bad to be at home today? i really don't want to go to church today. we have a family activity planned for this afternoon that i'm really excited about. and spending time with my family, i believe, is much more important than sitting through relief society or sunday school. strengthening my relationship with my husband is more important than being in sacrament meeting, listening to a high councilman drone on and on.

"keep the sabbath day holy" is one of the 10 commandments. we have been taught that in order to do this we are commanded to attend our church meetings. we are told that attending sacrament meeting is necessary to our salvation. "attend your church meetings" is one of those universal sunday school answers. do you believe that you must go to church to reach the ultimate goal of the celestial kingdom? do you believe that if you don't go to church, you are sinning and will be punished for it? do you believe that it really is part of the "keep the sabbath day holy" commandment? if not, what do you do to keep the sabbath day holy? what does that phrase mean to you?

i know we have discussed reasons for going and for not going to church meetings here before, in some of the other topics. but here is what i am wondering. i want to know how you make the decision to either attend or to stay at home. i want to know what your reasons for doing so are, if you feel guilty for not going, and how you "come to terms" (for lack of a better phrase) with not attending. if you do attend, but struggle with it, how do you overcome your struggle? what do you say to yourself to get yourself to go?

sharing a few (irreverant) laughs

by cornnut

since we have all been able to share tears and pain together, i think it is time we share some laughs together. i know everyone has heard the phrase "laughter is the best medicine" about nine billion times, but in many ways it is true. i love that as members of the church we can come here to discuss our views, to disagree, to agree, to share our perspectives. so in light of the post "no offense" (which was fantastic and if you haven't read it you should) please don't take offense to anything here. it is meant to be funny--even if some of it is mocking. and some of it inaccurate. and some are specific to utah.

if you have any other great church funnies, leave them or links to them in the comments. and most of all--laugh!

those are jazz players painted on her fingernails...

"in memoriam, brigham young" (c. 1877)

salt lake city 2002 olympics pin

prophets tattoo

-------------------------------------------------------------------
THE OTHER 13 ARTICLES OF FAITH

(author unknown)

1. We believe that elders should move pianos, washers, dryers, and multiple pound bags of storage wheat through narrow hallways, tight door jams, and at least one flight of stairs.

2. We believe that the Relief Society is called to provide meals for the needy. We do not believe that the priesthood cooks for anyone, except at ward camp-out breakfasts and Dutch-oven meals for more expendable Deacons.

3. We believe in tuna casserole with cream of mushroom soup and potato chip topping, served in a Tupperware dish with a piece of masking tape on the bottom that reads "Jones," "Smith", or "Johnson."

4. We believe that women should stop having children at 35. (36 is just too many)

5. We believe in worshipping professional sports if the contest includes:

A) Any athlete who attended BYU.
B) A Church member as a player, coach, or trainer.
C) Inspirational stories (i.e. John Elway, Tiger Woods, Cal Ripken, etc)
D) Zion's Army (Utah Jazz)
E) Any game that might affect the playoff positioning of any team in A-D

6. We believe that drinking caffeinated drinks is not a violation of the Word of Wisdom, as long as they are cold.

7. We believe that ward phone lists are good multi-level marketing tools.

8. We believe in kicking our boys out of the house at 19 - girls at 21, if they're not engaged - and sending them to a foreign country - like Chile, Japan, France, or New Jersey. We believe in sending them dozens of stale cookies and in tricking postal robbers by mailing one shoe at a time.

9. We believe that Sunday drives are okay, as long as they're not on a speedboat or dirt bike.

10. We believe in enduring to the end of high counselors' talks.

11. We believe that sleeping on the floor during General Conference is okay; after all, we can read every talk in the conference issue of the Ensign.

12. We believe that no meeting of the Relief Society is allowed without tablecloth and centerpiece. We also believe that if the aforementioned meeting does not take place on Sunday; brownies are not optional.

13. We believe that the variety with which one creates Jell-O salads is directly proportional to the level of glory attained after this life.

Telestial: green Jell-O and whipped cream
Terrestrial: green Jell-O + carrot shavings
Celestial: green Jell-O + walnuts + raisins + cashews + cranberries

Note: The highest level of the Celestial kingdom can only be attained by those who have used Jell-O molds and have, somewhere throughout the course of their life, used Jell-O as an appetizer, side dish, between meals snack, dessert, and cold-and-flu remedy.

No Offense...

by Holly

Something has been on my mind as of late and I would like to share it to get some opinions. To help you fully understand, let me give you a bit of history.

In August of 2004 we decided to have a baby, we had been married 2.5 years and thought it was good timing. We faced quite a bit of struggles in that department and finally got pregnant a year and a half later, only to lose the baby. Shortly after that we moved to Logan to allow my hubby the chance to finish his degree. When we moved back we had a hard time finding where we were supposed to go to church. You see, in Rhode Island, it was obvious which church we would go to...there was only one building and one ward on the island where we lived. But now there were three churches all within a 10 minute walk from our house. I totally expected to have the RS Pres beating down the door offering cookies...or at least someone from the Elder's quorum helping us unload the 26' Penske moving truck that was parked in front of our house. Nope. No one. It took us about a month to figure out where to go to church. (Yes, I know now you can look online and find your ward...but I didn't know that THEN.) When we showed up we were very proactive, introducing ourselves to everyone we could, we even sought out the Bishop after sacrament meeting. He asked us to speak the following sunday. Our topic was something like faith through adversity (Oh, the irony). The following sunday after sacrament meeting I was called to be the choir director (which I found HIGHLY suspect because I had told the ward music leader just the week before that I had been the choir director in our ward in RI). So I got all excited and sent out a survey to Priesthood and Relief Society asking about songs, practice times, etc. A couple weeks later I had compiled all my findings and annouced that choir practice would be right after church. Here comes the good part. Then, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ANNOUNCEMENTS a woman argues with me about the time - telling me I can't do it then. Another woman jumps on board and says something like: 'You don't have kids so you don't understand...we have to get our children home after the meeting.' Now, she obviously knew we didn't have children (because of the sacrament talk), yet she choose to open her big mouth and say something that hurtful. I didn't know what to do. I didn't say anything else and I sat down. I was holding back tears of hurt and anger throughout the remainder of the meeting. At no time during the tirade did the RS Pres (who was conducting) step in and say 'Hey, this is innappropriate...don't yell at her'.

I decided on the walk home that day that we would go to the student ward instead. That decision lasted about 6 months...we made it until the fast Sunday in Feb. which happened to be the one year mark of when we lost our baby. They blessed 5 babies that Sunday, and EVERY person who bore their testimony had either just had their child (or grandchild) blessed, or was pregnant. We left the meeting and never went back. We decided to go back to the family ward and really make an effort to fit in there. In RS one Sunday the lesson discussion turned to the difference between sins of comission and sins of omission. One woman actually said "Women who don't have children are comitting sins of omission.' We lost two more babies in the next 6 months...during all that pain and heartache not ONE person from that ward ever stopped by, sent a card, or called...NOT ONE.

That brings me to now. We have been trying for a baby for over four years and have yet to have a successfull pregnancy. In the two and a half years since we've lived here we have NEVER had a home teacher come to our house. I have had visiting teachers twice. We went to our Bishop last November and expressed our frustrations with him...we laid it all out: divorce, suicide, depression, infertility, money problems. You name it, we had it...and he told us he would do all he could to help us. A year later and NOTHING. No phone calls, no visits, no home teachers and get this, his WIFE was/is my visiting teacher. (Not sure who it is now, because the last time I had contact with anyone was Feb of this year)

Let me go back to October 2006 General Conference. Elder Bednar gave this talk, entitled And Nothing Shall Offend Them. I was sitting in my in-law's house watching conference and when this talk came on, something just bothered me. I felt like the talk gave a free pass to people with the offending tongues. Yes, I know that offense is taken, not given...but what is to be done when someone says something they KNOW will offend someone. Or when someone says something and they should know better?

So my question to you is this: Is taking offense ever ok? And if your answer is No...what do you do in situations where offense was intended?

The Church and Infertility

by: SeattleSuz

I know that there are at least two people here who are dealing with infertility, other than myself. So, I thought this would be an important thing to write about and to discuss. Hope I'm right.

Having been raised in the church, fallen away and been inactive for a number of years, I still always valued family and always wanted to start my own. When I married my DH in 2001, we waited a couple of months and then decided that we wanted to start TTC (trying to conceive). Soon aftewards, though, my DH became very sick with Crohn's Disease , and had to undergo 12 surgeries over the following 2 years. During that time, we had no success with TTC. He then had an analysis done, only to find out that he was close to being sterile (very low count, 0 motility). That was a hard pill to swallow, especially since, only a few months before that, my brother and his wife had had their first child. I went to his blessing, as hard as it was (I had just found out WHY we were infertile a few days before), and I cried a good bit of the time. It didn't seem fair. I wanted a family, but I couldn't have one. Why was it so easy for everyone else?! Was I being punished by God for having fallen away from His church?

So, we were being told by doctors that we would never conceive a child the "normal" way, but would have to do either AI (artificial insemination) or IVF (in-vitro fertilization). Family was very important to us and we wanted a child so badly. We had been through so many disappointments, and it didn't seem fair that the only way to have a family was to basically spend a lot of money and HOPE and PRAY that it worked. We finally made a decision to start saving money to do IVF. During that time, my brother and his wife had their second child. As hard as it was, I helped plan yet another baby shower for her. And with infertility, it is SOOOOOO hard having to attend baby showers. I got to the point that if I received an invite, I would just politely decline.

Needless to say, in January of 2007, I started and was successful with my IVF cycle and in November 2007, Ariel was born. She is truly a joy in our lives and soooo worth the wait. We are grateful for modern reproductive technology and for the wonderful personnel at the clinic - without them, we would not have our beautiful Ariel. We would love to try and have another baby, but infertility is still an issue and we don't know if we can afford to go the same route again.

OK, so there's my story on that. What I would like to discuss is how the Church views this? What are things you have heard regarding this topic, from other members, leaders, etc?? I have heard plenty of hurtful things from other Christians, like " maybe you just aren't meant to have children" or the favorite " why don't you just adopt?" And then of course, since my husband's family is Catholic, I have heard the stance of the Catholic church on ART (Advanced Reproductive Technology), which they view as wrong. When I look at my lovely daughter, I cannot imagine how anyone could say this is a bad thing.

What do you think???

Why I Voted For Obama

I've mentioned before that my ideals are not liberal or republican. In fact, I am not sure what it's called - I just know what I believe in. This has been the most difficult decision I've had to make in a long time. I've flip-flopped between candidates for awhile, and I finally sat down and tried to write down (in excel spreadsheet form of course) each candidates policies and what they believe in. I researched, and researched everything from their past to their family life and exactly what they would do for the country. I watched all the debates and even watched biased media (although I shouldn't have.) Then, all slander and unconfirmed facts aside, I still didn't have a clue as to who I would vote for.

Last night I even got down on my knees and prayed that Heavenly Father would guide me in the right direction. But I still didn't have an answer right away.

Even as I walked into the little elementary school gym, I wasn't sure who it would be. I cast my vote for all the other candidates for congress and district courts etc... Then it came to the large box to the left with the nominees for president.

It was at that moment it sort of just...came to me. I want to vote for the person who is best for this country, not who is best for just me. So to make a very, very, very long drawn out and detailed story short - that's why I chose Obama.