non-twitter using, young part time SAHM mom to 4 boys (3 surprises) and 1 girl, part time preschool teacher wishes her house was cleaner....
now that that's out of the way...
I love, LOVE, starbucks. In fact, I have an almost unwavering devotion to this store. At my regular store, they know me by drink (grande peppermint hot chocolate- 370 calories, 25 mg of caffeine, far better then my normal morning Dr. Pepper at 41 mg). But recently, I have had a few experiences there that have made me, well, waver, in my love for them.
The first: My old calling was young women's second counselor and one of my favorite, inactive girls worked at Starbucks. My husband and I would often stop in on date nights to say hi and get a snack. While we were chatting with her one night sipping our cups, her dad walked in. Her dad was in our bishopric at the time. We laughed at how awkward it was to run into other Mormons there because there just isn't a lot on the menu suited for us (which makes me wonder if that's one of the things I like...) It was even more awkward when he stopped in to say hi and his daughter told us he refuses to order from a chain like starbucks.
The second incident was at the beginning of this past school year when I took my almost 3 year old to the store and ordered my regular. I immediately warned my son van that it would be hot and to blow on it. He had been sipping on it for several minutes when we got to target and I took the cup to take my first sip. It was peppermint, but it def. wasn't hot chocolate..... I was furious. He didn't drink that much, but there is a HUGE difference between a peppermint hot chocolate and a peppermint MOCHA... not exactly what i want my already hyper 2 year old sucking down...
So, here is my dilemma. I would save a ton of money if I cut this "habit." (That makes it sound easy, doesn't it??) BUT.... I work at a preschool in a church. Everyone there drinks coffee. Coffee gift cards come at every holiday (in fact I have 1 in my diaper bag, waiting for the five minutes I wouldn't have to drag 5 kids in the store and ruin every one else's moments of peace). My co-workers and I take turns every Thurs. going to get starbucks. But the bottom line: I love the paper cup goodness (10% recycled materials!) that is warm starbucks. I don't know if I am quite ready to be done being one of the cup toting moms. Is buying coffee as bad as buying alcohol or cigarettes? I would never even consider buying those for others, even for those who could buy them legally, but think nothing at going to but others coffee. Is that wrong? Is the illusion of me walking around Target with my cup bad? Most of my friends know I'm Mormon, but in our town of almost 48,000, there are only abt. 200 active Mormons. Am I creating a bad example to those I run into who know I'm Mormon? "Oh... hi! Yes I know you know Mormons shouldn't drink coffee... Don't worry, this is only hot chocolate..." I dunno, it just gets awkward. So until next Thursday, I'll hold out on any more starbucks. After that, I can't be to sure...
16 comments:
i love starbucks, and i HATE coffee. i hate the smell of it, i hate the taste of it, i hate coffee flavored anything. but i love their vanilla bean frappucino (which really is like a vanilla milk shake.) i wouldn't stop going there just because it is a coffee chain. you shouldn't have to defend your choices when you are doing nothing wrong. there is no reason for you to feel guilty at all. starbucks does offer things other than coffee, so who cares if someone sees you in target with it? as long as you know that you are doing the right thing, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. they won't be the ones answering for your choices.
Hi! And WELCOME!!!
I just want to add my two cents in a version as "cliffs notes" as I can get it.
First of all, hot chocolate isn't coffee. So your dilemma is solved. If anyone I know sees me with a Starbucks cup - they don't ask. Who cares if they think I'm drinking coffee? They should assume it's coco anyway - I do!
Secondly - if caffeine was the only reason coffee and tea are banned, a lot more Mormons would think seriously about pop. Caffeine is clearly NOT the reason HF put the WoW in place. If it IS, every single Mormon I know is a hypocrite for drinking soda.
I think there's a deeper meaning for why we can't have coffee and tea. More than just caffeine content.
But I don't care - I am not allowed to have carbonated beverages, so if I need a pick me up I get a sugar free Americano. It's absolutely NO different than pop. And if Mormons are so shallow to judge me for something SO stupid - that's not very Christlike.
And no - it's NOTHING like alcohol and cigarettes. Don't worry!
Oh and I agree with cornnut.
I know a lot of Mormons who drink hot chocolate from Starbucks (and other coffee shops). I know a lot of Mormons who get other snack food at Starbucks when going there for hot chocolate. I'm even one of them. I've never known anyone to find it at all odd. I assumed it was pretty well known that coffee shops often sell more than just coffee.
Also, I wouldn't even object to buy coffee for others.
My mother worked her way through BYU as a barmaid in the summers. She was an still is an active, faithful member of the church. She didn't drink, though. The details matter.
So enjoy your Starbucks kick!
Ha! Ok, I admit, I was a weird kid. When we would go to the grocery store with my mum on Saturdays, I used to LOVE going down the coffee aisle, cuz I LOVED the smell of the freshly ground coffee. I tried it a few times as a teenager (feeling very rebellious, lol) and didn't like it. Then in the early 90s, the espresso craze really hit Seattle and an old boyfriend introduced me to a Raspberry Mocha. I've been hooked ever since.
Personally, I have gotten rid of all of my other bad habits and I REFUSE to give up my coffee. We all gotta have vices, some people have food, some have Twilight (he he), some have chocolate, I have coffee.
I think that if you are doing the right thing, then it shouldn't matter what other people think. I know a lot of Mo's who drink Starbucks hot cocoa and I KNOW that they are drinking hot cocoa, so I don't even think twice about seeing them with a Starbucks cup. But I guess I am probably the minority here, cuz I don't care if people want to drink Dr Pepper, Mtn Dew or coffee. I'd personally rather have an overcaffeinated world, than the alcoholic world I see so much. But that's a different topic for a different day. lol
I agree with SeattleSuz. There are FAR WORSE things that people could be having. So seeing you with a cup of coco, or even a six shot espresso mocha is no where NEAR how "bad" drinking say, a margarita is.
I honestly think the WoW is set in place because people don't really know how to do "moderation." So they - (as in God and the Prophet, etc...) ruled out the important stuff first. Really we shouldn't be having ANYTHING that much - coco, pop, coffee, food, alcohol, and the like.
But that's not really the issue here. The issue is "image" - and I think you just have to choose which you care about more. Your coco - or your "image."
No,the WoW was set in place as an overall health guideline. Some food items are specifically mentioned as being good only in moderation, while others are fully encouraged all the time. And there are others that are specifically forbidden. Soda pop, chocolate, etc. are not on that list of forbidden items. But alcohol, tobacco, coffee, and tea are. Forbidden means absolutely NONE, not in moderation or "whatever floats your boat at that moment in time." It is not up to us to interpret the Lord's intentions when those intentions have already been made perfectly clear through his prophets.
S.S., we all do indeed have our vices, you're absolutely correct. And we're expected to be making an effort to overcome those vices throughout our lives. But the difference between loving chocolate bars and loving coffee is that one you made a covenant at baptism to never partake of for as long as you're a member of this church, and the other is an indulgence that is suitable in moderation. The difference is the commitment you made to the Lord specifically, the other is not. Covenants are nothing to fool around with; mocking them is serious.
For the original poster, most people know Starbucks serves hot chocolate, chocolate bars, cookies, etc. The official answer would probably be to avoid the appearance of evil. To clarify, drinking coffee is not evil for the majority of humans on this earth, but it is forbidden to Mormons and most everyone knows that. You can rely on other people's good sense to assume that you're doing the right thing and only drinking cocoa; that, or the same group who always assume Mormons are raging hypocrites will gain more mental fodder for themselves. Who knows. There is a reason that we're always being cautioned that we're being watched ALL THE TIME and that is because it's absolutely true. People look for excuses to find Mormons doing something wrong. Is that right of them? Of course not. But there is a reason we're not told to just blow them off but rather make sure we're setting as good an example as we can for non-members. If what we do turns someone away from accepting the gospel, we will indeed be held accountable to some extent, and we've been warned by general authorities about that in General Conference for years. Can we be perfect all the time? Of course not. But we can try.
However, if your friends who know you're Mormon also know you're drinking cocoa and nothing more, the problem is solved. After work there were many a time when I went with the group to happy hour at the local bar. Everyone knew I was Mormon and they also knew my convictions were strong enough that even though my root beer could possibly be mistaken for beer by someone else who didn't know me, they knew me too well and knew exactly what I was drinking (it also helped that they heard what I ordered). Again, it's all about the example you're setting. Every time you're out there you are instantly a representative of this church, whether for good or bad. I suspect anyone who thought you were drinking coffee also didn't know you well enough to know you're also Mormon. Again, problem averted. If I saw anyone staring down my hot chocolate who knew I was Mormon and being a non-member (who cares what other members think?) suspected I didn't live what I believed, I would smile, point, and say, "Cocoa." Problem solved.
As for buying others coffee. I don't see a problem with it myself. Some in our church seem to think coffee in and of itself is inherently evil and anyone partaking in it is destined for hell whether they're a member or not. That's absolutely not true. Coffee is only a problem for those who have covenanted with the Lord to never drink it. For those who have made no such agreement it is acceptable for as far as their health allows (it's still not great for you, but still). Those people are not sinning or transgressing any laws by drinking it and their drinking it affects no one else, unlike alcohol or tobacco. Buying it for them doesn't seem like a huge problem to me, but that's up to you and the Lord. To me, it would be the same as if a Jew bought me some bacon. Actually, I'd feel kinda bad asking a Jew to buy me pork products given what I know of their religious feelings toward pork and I wouldn't hesitate to apologize if he/she refused to buy it on religious grounds. I'm sure your friends would understand if you decided not to continue to buy coffee, but since they know you would never partake of it with them at least the most important idea has been communicated there.
Its all about doing whatever you feel good about.
But I do have my own two cents to add to something you said. I really don't think there is anything wrong with purchasing things like alcohol and coffee for people. In fact, Hubby and I have paid for beer/ alcohol for our friends on many, many occasions.
I think it's wrong to say: I won't buy your coffee/ beer/ whatever because I don't approve of those things. Its forcing our religion on people who don't know/ have the WoW and comes off as holier-than-thou. Picking up the coffee for your co-workers is doing them a service and to suddenly change your mind and say: I won't get it anymore because I don't approve of coffee... I don't know to them it'd probably be the same thing as if a vegetarian refused to pick up a chicken sandwich for you because it had meat in it.
I don't think there is anything wrong with getting your hot chocolate at Starbucks. I've never actually been in one, but my husband gets gift certificates from the women he works with and has no problem with that.
I do have to say that there was a boy at cub camp this morning from another ward who told me he couldn't have the root beer if it had caffeine in it. :-)
It sounds like you are too insecure about what other people think. If you were going into a bar and getting water in a beer bottle to carry around, then that would be a strange and bad thing to do. If you feel like you are addicted to getting hot chocolate than that is a bad thing, as any addiction to anything is bad. The church has an addiction recovery program that works with any addiction, whether it's pornography and alcohol, or food, or shopping...etc. Of course, it's obvious that you would save a LOT of money and it'd be more healthy for your body to not be chugging hot chocolate all the time. Just use your sense and don't worry so much what other people though.
Oh, and your dilemma about "Everyone else is doing it" or "Everybody gets me giftcards for starbucks", as if those are reasons that absolutely stop you from being in control of what you do....so what if everybody's doing it. Everybody's having premarital sex and drinking beer and smoking too. And you have a voice, so if you don't want the gift cards let them know that you would prefer a bath and body gift card or something like that. They will understand. Or you could re-gift spare gift cards you don't want.
I don't think you are being a bad example for people "thinking" you're drinking coffee. You're not. Thats whats important.
It's like when my roommate Aarons girlfriend sleeps over. As she walks out to her car in the morning, I'm not thinking... "they totally did it." I mean he has a calling and takes the sacrement every sunday. So who am I to judge.
In regards to what anon said above, if you have extra Starbucks cards, feel free to regift/send em my way! lol
I just happened on here and am not sure if you are still blogging. But this is funny. We go to Starbucks for the white hot chocolate. This is Utah so no one really questions it, but if we lived out somewhere and there were few members who saw us there it would look funny. Loved the post. Why do people think we are weird?
Its cause they don't have anything else to concentrate on... lol.
Kean
Http://youthforjesus.com
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